What Not to Say to a Writer

As a writer, always have a sideline job you can mention at cocktail parties.


At these parties inevitably someone comes up to you and asks what you do for a living. If you say you are a writer, their very next question will be: “What have you published?” If you say, nothing, the person will sniff as if you have developed a bad odor and avoid you for the rest of the party. If you name a book, they will look you up and down and say, “I’ve never heard of it,” and avoid you for the rest of the party.


The friendly guy comes over, pats you on the back and tells you they just heard you are a writer. You know from whom! The friendly guy will tell you they have been thinking of writing a book. You perk up. A potential ally in the isolation of your writing career? You ask how long? The friendly guy laughs. “Oh, I haven’t written a word. I figure I could push out a book over the weekend. Writing can’t be that hard to do.”


The friendly guy leaves and you are blindsided by a young lady dressed in black with blood purple lipstick. She stares at you. You stare back. She stares back. You smile. She stares some more. “I heard you’re a writer.” Guess from whom? You nod. She squints she is staring so hard. “What about?” You tell her “Life.” She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and whispers, “Awesome.”


You slide away while she has her eyes closed and join a group. “Oh, you’re a writer? comes from this grey-haired lady dripping in pearls. “That’s great; I have this wonderful story about something true that happened to me, and I just know that it would be a bestseller if I could find a REAL WRITER to write it up, and you could have half the money!”


Then you hear someone ask this young woman, “Are you the writer?” She shakes her head and says, “But I have this book I’m going to write when I get a free weekend.” The other person, a man speaking to her breasts, “Yeah, sounds great. Is it going to be non-fiction or fiction?” She smiles sweetly, looking at his crotch, “Oh, definitely non-fiction.” The man licks his lips, “Yeah, what about?” The young woman licks her lips, “Oh, I’m making it up.”


You turn around as a loud fellow points at you. “You’re the writer?” You nod. The loud fellow looks at everyone in the group, winks and asks you, “Can you tell me the theme of your book in one sentence?” You open your mouth and he interrupts, “Because if you can’t tell me the theme of your 400-page book then you’re not really a writer. A Real Writer will be able to shoot out one sentence that tells what the whole book is about.”


The woman next to the loud fellow says, “Like a sound bite.” The redheaded woman says, “In the movies they call that the trailer.” The loud fellow snaps his fingers, “Just like that,” and everyone nods their head. You leave to refresh your drink.


The bartender asks if you are having a good time. Always on the lookout for a good plot, you ask the bartender, “I bet you see a lot here?” The bartender hums a yes. “Must have tons of stories about things that have happened in places like this?” He nods. “Care to share one with me?” He asks, “Why? You a writer?” You beam. “Yes. Does it show?” “Nah. It’s always the writers that ask weird questions like that.”


Then he leans closer to you, “Man, how do you think up all those plots?” You wave your hand at the crowd. “There’s a thousand stories in the naked city.” He looks blank. “Look around. All of these people have something going on in their lives.” The bartender snorts. “You’re telling me. I get an earful all night. One sob story after the other. Cheez. You’d think they’d have enough of that with their therapists.” You leave your drink and the party.


You stop off at home to check on your sainted mother. “Hi, mom.” “Where have you been? I smell booze on you.” You laugh. “What have you been up to?” You open your mouth. “You still with that computer thing. Writing stories. When are you going to get serious and get a real job? Don’t you want to have a real job?” You kiss her on the cheek and tell her you love her.


You head home. Your keyboard waits for you. The hardest and best job in the world and you love it.


Well, maybe except for being a parent and a bartender.

Being a Chicana Writer

Chicana Writer. Two words that can stand alone or when united can be fireworks on paper — a celebration.

Writer. An octopus of a word.

With one arm, I am single-head-of-household. I have to remember to set something aside for the car registration in March and the taxes in April. I have to fix the plumbing and watch for sales to buy boxes of light bulbs and make sure we never run out of detergent.

With another arm, I am the single parent of two fabulous, handsome, obnoxious sons. I have to rejoice in their victories, commiserate in their losses, encourage them out of their failures, and cheerlead them into a higher self-esteem and a sense of their powerful selves. Also have their wisdom teeth removed with no health insurance. And fill their bottomless stomachs with half the grocery store.

With the working arm, I am an employee who types other people’s manuscripts with perfect margins, researches other peoples’ ideas, and support their progress while I wake up at four every morning to write for two hours. From this employment, I gain a paycheck, which enables me, minimally, to keep the house I have to continuously maintain and support the sons I have to constantly consider.

With another arm, I use the time split off from my writing for my friendships with women — lending my shoulder, bending their ear, and in moments of complete abandonment, meeting with them to play. As for male companionship, I have about five spare minutes in a couple of months — if I could find a male who does not get threatened by the fact I can change the insides of a toilet and the oil in the car as well as he can. But I’m horny and I’m looking.

With the additional arm, there is the time I have chipped out for myself to listen quietly for the wisdom that is the source of my well being — my inner voice.

Chicana. A scorpion of a word.

On one leg, some may think my light skin earns me the prizes — food, shelter, and life free from harassment. Regardless of how I look on the outside, I am still one of “them,” and every step upward closes the window of opportunity taken for granted by so many.

On the other leg, I have to support the brown world and the white world, and I can never fully satisfy either group. Losing the fluency of my language is a symptom of my oppression. I was raised to assimilate.

On the third leg, when I write as a Chicana, I ask, who am I? Where do I fit in? I have never met a migrant farmworker. I have never picked in a fruit field. I never lived in a house with a dirt floor. I never went hungry as a child. I always had nice clothes. I was taught being light-skinned made me better than others. I grew up middle-class. I cannot romanticize my race’s poverty.

On the important leg, I portray my people with dignity and respect, the way I saw them as I grew up. I write about a Chicana who lives in a nice home, with a husband who does not drink, womanize, or beat her, and the editor asks me, “Who is my audience?”

“Chicanos,” he informs me, “can’t read and don’t have money to buy books.”

On the wobbly leg, I am told I betray the Chicana experience by writing about people who own their homes on the good side of town. I am targeted as unfaithful to my Raza because my writing contains no magic realism. Will Chicanos label me a coconut–brown on the outside, white on the inside? Will the white publishers allow me in the door?

My experience is that “they” invite you into their schools and let you play with their children, but exclude you from the power decisions. I write about the hidden messages I received as a child that as a Mexicana I would be a good servant, but anything more was impossible.

I write about a ceiling lowered on me for no other reason than being born into my family. It is a ceiling other people define for me and get angry when I resist it. It is a ceiling that can come at me from both colors.

Yet I write. My writing gives me purpose.

My courage is the ink flowing from my pen. With the squiggly lines I scratch onto a blank page, I contribute, I destroy, I encourage, I defend, and I keep myself alive.

With my writing, I can contribute. With my writing, I reach others, all colors, and share information to make things clearer and easier between us. With my writing, I become who I really am.

A Chicana Writer.

Today, Mayra is visiting Efrain’s Corner on her Latino Virtual Book Tour
http://efrainortizjr.blogspot.com/

So… You Want to Start a Book Club?

Starting your own book club is a great way to share your love of books with other book lovers. Chances are many book lovers would love to start a club but simply don’t know how, or for some reason think it is difficult. Starting your own book club can be easy, inexpensive, fun, and rewarding. The main requirement? A passion for words!

Step One: Decide The Kind Of Club You Want

Book clubs come in all colors, shapes and sizes. The first thing you need to do to is decide what kind you want yours to be. So take out pen and paper, and start planning!

*Would you like a club where members discuss only fiction, or non-fiction as well? Would you like it to be specialized, handling a specific genre? Or you want your club to handle only classics? Or books written by a specific prolific author? Or perhaps only books which have been banned or won Nobel Prizes?

*Do you want your club to be big or small? Eight to twelve members is a good number, big enough for a variety of ideas and small enough to stay cozy.

*Do you want to keep the club between friends or recruit a diverse group of people? A diverse group may offer a more varied contribution to discussions, but do you really want strangers in your home?

*Do you want food to accompany book discussions, or only beverages? From my experience, food isn’t a good idea. People can’t concentrate well while chewing food. But it’s nice to have coffee or tea, especially if it’s a morning session. In fact, drinking hot beverages during discussion is an important part of the book club experience. Some hosts/hostesses serve wine if the discussions are held at night.

*Do you want to conduct the book discussions at your home, in a rotation basis at the other members’ homes, or outside at public places like libraries, bookshops, or restaurants? There are advantages and disadvantages either way. My favourite is a combination of both to keep the sessions fresh, lively and less routinely.

*How often do you want to meet? One month is a good idea. Less than this would be too often. People live hectic lives and members should have sufficient time to read the book comfortably. More than 6 weeks would make members too detached, and even prompt them to forget about the book until the last minute. Also, will you meet on weekends or weekdays?

*How long do you want each session to last? In general, two hours are enough time: The first 15 minutes for chatting, the next 1 ½ hours for the book discussion, and the last 15 minutes to wrap it up and chat some more.

Step Two: Name Your Club

I’m amazed at the number of book clubs out there that don’t have a name. Be original and inventive. Remember, this is your creation. A name gives it importance and legitimacy. Choose a name which suits the club. If your club will only handle vampire fiction, for example, The Transylvania Book Club would be a good name. Okay, maybe that’s not too original, but you get my drift.

Step Three: Recruit Members

Now that you know all about your book club and have given it a name, you can start recruiting members.

*If you want to keep it between friends, several emails or phone calls will do.

*If you want a diverse group with both friends and strangers, then put a few ads in several places where you know people would be interested to join, like local libraries, bookshops, your children’s school, or your church.

*Make your ad eye-catching, interesting, and professional. Include the name and some general info about your club.

Step Four: The First Meeting

Now that you have recruited the amount of members you wanted, you’re ready for the first meeting, which normally will take place at your home. Never take for granted the first meeting. It will set the standard for all subsequent ones.

Once the members have chatted a little, got their coffees and teas and settled comfortably in their chairs, you can begin discussing the rules with the members.

Remember to be flexible. A “dictator” attitude will turn members off instantly. Be enthusiastic. You want to strive for a friendly, relaxed atmosphere.

*Discuss with the members all the points covered earlier in “Decide The Kind Of Book Club You Want,” so they can have a clear idea of your book club.

*As leader, you get to make the first book suggestion. Simply bring a list of several books you would like the club to read and let them decide by majority one title. Be wise! The future of your club may well depend on the first book selected. You can print out some reviews about these books and read them to the group to spark their interest and help them decide.

*Decide as a group how the books will be chosen and subsequent meetings held.
-Ideally, each member should have a turn at suggesting books, being leader and hosting meetings.
-Will you purchase hardbacks or paperbacks?
-Who will order books and keep record of books selected, as well as keep record of rotations?
-Will books be selected in advance for the whole semester, or a meeting at a time? Selecting books in advance is generally more convenient.

*Remind members to be punctual, and, ideally, to turn their cell phones off during discussions. Needless to say, it is each member’s responsibility to read the whole book before each discussion.

*Make sure the “rules” are understood by all members and be prepared for questions.

*Reading is great, but reading critically is even better and will heighten the book club experience and add insight and depth to discussions. Offer the following suggestions to keep in mind when reading:
-Keep a pencil or highlighter in hand
-Look below the surface at underlying themes or ideas
-Is there anything unusual which gets your attention? Recurring images? Symbolism? Metaphors?
-Unusual plot devices?

*At the end, suggest they take out their agendas or planners so they can write down the date and place of their next meeting. This should be done at the end of each meeting.

Step Five: The Subsequent Meetings, The Discussion Sessions

You’ve finished the first meeting. Congratulations! You deserve a big hug. The worst is over and the best is yet to come.

If the first meeting was a success, chances are the subsequent ones will be, too. As host or hostess of the first book discussion, you will set the standard. Remember to conduct yourself warmly and enthusiastically. Though you may use index cards, it is always better to express your thoughts in your own words and not read from your notes. Trust me, this will put people to sleep. Always try to keep eye contact with the group. Begin by talking a bit about the author and how this particular book fits into his other body of work, or if it’s somehow related to his life.

Next get some general reactions:
-Did you enjoy it? Hate it? Was it entertaining? Boring? Exasperating? Did it grab you until the end? Was it a challenging, difficult read?

Once you have got some first reactions and “warmed up” the group, you can start going deeper:
-Were the characters believable? Stereotypical?
-What about the plot and pace?
-Did the book evoke any particular feeling? Anger? Frustration? Terror? Indifference?
-What’s unique about the story?
-Any recurring themes, images, symbols or metaphors?
-Any quote or passage which got your attention?
-Any similar works by other authors?
-Do you agree with the reviews written about this book?
If the book is non-fiction, you may want to discuss the following:
-Was the book helpful? Controversial? Informative?
-Was it objective or biased?
-Was the book persuasive enough to change your mind or stand on an issue?
-What was the author’s intention? Did he accomplish it?

Some Last Tips

*Several days before each meeting, send a quick reminder to all members with either email or a phone call.

*If you have small children and will need a baby-sitter during meetings, plan ahead.

*In all groups there will always be a couple of shy people. Encourage but don’t insist in making them talk if they don’t feel like it.

*If you have trouble coming up with a list of book suggestions, check book reviews on newspapers and online and print publications, or simply check titles on Amazon. Try not to stick only to bestsellers. There are wonderful gems out there from small presses, just waiting to be discovered.

*If you’re very serious about your book club, why not make some T-shirts or sweatshirts, mugs and caps with your club’s name—and even logo!—on them. This can be easily done at a print shop and members would share the cost. For a mystery club, for example, you could purchase deer hunter’s caps and smoking pipes, and have them personalized with the club’s name and/or logo. It’s fun and your club will get even more attention—specially if your meetings are held in a restaurant! The only limit is your imagination.

Good luck. Above everything else, enjoy!

Where do you get your ideas?

There are two questions authors are always asked. 1. Is this book autobiographical? 2. Where do you get your ideas? And because it’s the way I am, I’m going to answer the second one first.


When I lived in Vermont, I joined a women’s group of visual artists. The head of our group was my best friend. She and I would travel across the U.S. We would be traveling down a road and see a tall building with a mural on the space. We both pointed and told each other, “Look.”


She would go on about the colors used in the mural. “Fabulous.” I would read the words aloud and rave on how the words had several different connotations. “Fabulous.” We were looking at the same building but saw two different aspects of the mural.


Do you remember when you and your partner decided to have a baby? After that, everywhere you looked you saw pregnant women.


Do you remember when you bought your car? You knew you wanted a certain color of blue. Everywhere you drove, you saw a car with that certain color of blue.


Like a Google Alert, what is your mind geared to notice. What factor you detect? What ingredient is the most important that constituents the blend of your life? “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.” ~Buddha Same essential component.


When you are thinking story, the stories occur around you. In NYC, you see a dog walker walking 12 dogs of all sizes. You get “Monster-in-Law.” I was a foster mom for 8 years and one of my girls told me how going from home to home, the lesson she learned was always find out where the toilet paper was kept before you went. From that, “The Throwaway Piece.”


The ideas come from your eyes. What you see. How you see it. What you make of it. What you hear. When you smell it. A stuffed up nose and you walk by the bakery. The next day, no stuffed up nose, you smell the bakery a block away. Because you’re hungry. If you weren’t hungry, you might see the newspaper vendor first.


When I sit in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, I’ll usually grab a left-behind newspaper to read. I also usually stuff it into my purse to take home. Always there is an article about a man who… or a woman that… or kids who went… or a child found… and I have a new story angle.


I read this on Tomas Hispanic Tips newsletter: Eridania Rodriguez, Cleaning Woman, Vanishes At Skyscraper Near Ground Zero :: from www.huffingtonpost.com
In the comments, tell us how you would take this bit of information and make it into a story. What would you story be about? The five best plot ideas will win a copy of The Disappearance of Irene Dos Santos By Margaret Mascarenhas. Hurry. You have all week to add your comment. I’ll announce the winner in my next Sunday column.


Thank you for visiting,
Jo Ann