The Maria Paradox: How Latinas Can Merge Old World Traditions with New World Self-Esteem

Rosa Maria Gil, D.S.W.
Carmen Inoa Vazuez, Ph.D.

G.P. Putnam’s Sons, New York, NY 1996 ISB 0-399-14159-6


Rosa Maria Gil, D.S.W., is vice-president of Mental Health and Dependency Services for the New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatric social work in Columbia University’s College of Physicians and Surgeons, and a Psychotherapist in private.


Carmen Inoa Vazquez, Ph.D., ABPP, is the founding director of the Bilingual Treatment Program clinic (BTP) at Bellevue Hospital, and the director of the NYU-Bellevue clinical internship, a clinical associate professor at New York University School of Medicine, and a psychotherapist in private practice. She lives in New York.


As I read their bios I wondered if they sat and discussed whether to put down if they were married and/or had children. This discussion would have fitted perfectly into their book. “Do we connect with our readers as familia and lose credibility as professionals?” or “Do we stay the professional and maybe lose some readers because we’re too lofty?” Answers to these types of questions and what they call “The Ten Commandments of Marianismo” are given.


It’s not enough that our men have to defend themselves from the “Macho” image; now Latinas have to live up to yet another image, Marianismo. Or let go of the expectations of Our Lady of Guadalupe virtues expected of us.


Gil and Vazquez clearly and plainly speak about las viejas costumbres, the old ways versus the life of una mala mujer. No translation required. They speak mainly of Latinas who may have been born in another country and immigrated to the States or of Latinas raised with newly immigrated parents.


Most of us were raised with assimilation being the propulsion behind our every advancement. Do good in school. Get a good job. Dress right. Now Gil and Vazquez take from psychologist John Berry, a new word. Acculturation is an adjustment that takes place when individuals from different cultures come into continuous and direct contact with, and learn from, one another. Sounds good yet the stress comes from adjusting to the new life and all its many times opposing expectations.


Gil and Vazquez claim all this has been examined before in the academic works of Sally E. Romero, Julia M. Ramos-McKay, Lillian Comas-Diaz, and Luis Romero, but it has never before been presented to the general reader. The authors have definitely taken their audience into account using Spanish words and dichos to make their points, which is nice to hear in a non-fiction work.


For the woman who has been in the work force for a long time this book may be verbose and you won’t finish it. And it might be interesting to see that you’re not alone with this enigma. For the new-to workforce person, especially those coming from very traditional families, this book gives one permission to explore all the possibilities offered in the workforce without rejecting family and tradition.


If you grew up with “Look good, get ahead but be married first,” this book offers alternatives to view these words of wisdom from well-intended and loving family members.