A Group of My Own
by Angela Villarreal Ratliff

In the summer of 1977, as a twenty-six year old intern teacher, and a post graduate at San Jose University in California, I had two more courses to take to complete the requirements for my elementary teaching credential. For one of those courses, a Children’s Literature class, I had to create a book for children and had absolutely no clue what I would do. I remembered that in second grade, my teacher had posted the very first poem I ever wrote — a short three-verse rhyming piece entitled Those Little Ants, about the antics of that pesky insect. Seeing my work displayed along with those of other students, I felt a newfound elation — the first positive reinforcement I would experience in the area of creative writing. At least twenty years later, drawing from that initial incident, I somehow managed to put together a quaint little book on rhymed poetry, Poems For Little People, illustrated by a younger sister, Alicia, an art major. When I received an A for my project, something inside of me changed forever. My success in the literature course stirred my creativity from its deep slumber; however, I would not write again for years.


By 1984 I was married and raising three children. Lucia, an older sister asked me to join her in a unique venture to create a bilingual language arts program for use in elementary classrooms — she and I were teaching bilingual second grades at the time and could implement the material as it was developed. She would have my sister, Alicia, be illustrator, but wanted original literature, in the form of poems, to include in the program. Recalling my poetry book of 1977, and after much coaxing and reassurance from her, I took on the challenge.


Again, I surprised myself when in a span of two years I wrote thirty-four children’s rhyming poems for the project. Under our collaborative efforts we established a desktop publishing company we named Cielo Publications. We eventually disbanded, but the program is still used in some classrooms throughout the country.


My creative writing went relatively dormant once more for several years. But in March of 1989, after experiencing some tough family times, I began keeping a personal journal — the extent of my writing for the year that followed. Journaling provided me a with a healthy outlet for the emotional, psychological roller coaster I was riding while at the same time stirring the sleeping writer in me. I was journaling on a regular basis when I relocated to Austin, Texas, with my family in 1990. Over time I began writing more poetry, then expanded into essays and short stories. Most of my writing centered around childhood and personal experiences, which leaned towards expressing the hardships of growing up in a migrant family, and the conflicts and struggles of being a Mexican American. Although my files of new work continued to grow, I began to feel a strong need to widen my knowledge on the craft of creative writing.


Eager to fine-tune my skills as a “closet” writer, but on a tight budget, I familiarized myself with available but affordable resources for aspiring writers in Austin. Over the next few years, I enrolled in several writing courses and workshops (Informal Classes from the University of Texas at Austin; and workshops and classes given by the Austin Writers’ League), and visited a few small writer groups. I also read many how-to books and magazines on creative writing and poetry, including Michael J. Bugeja’s: The Art and Craft of Poetry; and subscribed to Writers’ Digest.


Although I progressed in my skills and met many other scribes along the way, I somehow felt out-of-place, and soon realized that I was in dire need of communication with aspiring writers with my Hispanic background – writers whose experiences with two languages, two cultures, two worlds, would be reflected in their writing. After trying unsuccessfully, for about a year, to find a local writing group geared to the Hispanic emerging writer, I made the brave decision to create a group of my own.


I had often been told by my supervisors and employers that I possessed the gift for strong leadership and organizer, but being the shy introvert, I kept that talent at bay unless absolutely required of me. Being more comfortable as a joiner rather than as a leader, I joined many groups and organizations throughout my life. But this new goal gave me reason to extend myself beyond my comfort zone, for I soon found that to form this new group, I would have to invent my own rules along the bumpy way.
In becoming a teacher, I had passionately pursued predetermined goals set by guidelines and course work requirements decided upon by educational institutions; each precise step carefully laid out for those of us whose sights were set on becoming educators – steps, which I followed with unfailing commitment. In this venture there would be no pre established guidelines, no one to turn to for clear-cut advice on what I was about to attempt. I was well aware that there would be numerous risks for failure, or even worse: rejection. My natural stubbornness kicked in. Undaunted, I plunged into a new area of the unknown and wholeheartedly embraced the self-assigned challenge.


Around this time, with my husband’s full support, I had made the decision to explore my interest in writing on a full-time basis, and would not return to work as a teacher. This also fit in with being able to take care of our family’s needs at home, while pursuing my personal goals. I was forty-four with fourteen years of teaching experience — I knew that I could always return if I wanted to, but I might not ever again have this awesome opportunity to try out my wings as a writer.


In 1996, I joined the Austin Writers’ League and put an ad in the July issue of their monthly newsletter, Austin Writer, announcing my interest to form a writer response group of Hispanic writers. I hoped to get at least a few callers within weeks, since the league has a membership of more than 1600, with members from all parts of Texas and a few scattered across the country. But things proceeded at a much slower pace than I had anticipated. Fortunately the free ad would run monthly unless I canceled it. I had faith that some prospective readers would lay eyes on it and identify with its message. With each passing month, my conviction weakened. At one point I even considered pulling the ad; thankfully I am blessed with an extra-large dose of patience and perseverance (are they extensions of stubbornness?).


Not being one to stagnate, in September of the same year I organized a group of poet-homemakers in my neighborhood to meet weekly during the morning hours while our children attended school. We enjoyed sharing and critiquing each other’s poetry and relished the company of other women who worked at home and had a passion for poetry. In time we expanded to include writing of prose. But being the only Hispanic member of this neighborhood literary group, I still hungered for input from writers with my dual background; persons who could better understand the Spanish language and ethnic twists I had recently been incorporating into my written work.


As a result of regular visits to the local library and ongoing trips to bookstores, I began reading books and anthologies containing the literary works of Hispanic authors such as Sandra Cisneros, Pat Mora, Helena Maria Viramontes, Carmen Tafolla, Benjamin Saenz, Gary Soto, as well as Octavio Paz and Pablo Neruda; my personal book collection grew into a mini library. I can’t begin to explain the joy I felt when reading about my rich culture within these pages: a culture I had not encountered in the numerous books I had read while growing up; a background that I thought was not being written about, and basically ignored or rejected by the dominant society; experiences that I believed would have to die with those of us representative of a silent minority. Fortunately, I was terribly wrong. Their stories were being told and would continue in the telling. I felt I too had many of my own waiting to be told. Gathering plenty of inspiration from the writings of these and other gifted Latina/o authors I expanded my skills and talent, while developing my own writer’s voice and style.


Meanwhile, I anxiously awaited a call from anyone answering my plea to assist me in starting a critique group to meet the needs of Hispanic writers like myself. I had set my plan in motion, and although I was beginning to grow impatient and weary at the lack of response to my ad, quitting was still not an option in my mind.


Finally, in mid September, almost three months after placing the ad, I got my first call from a lady in Corpus Christi, too far away for travel to regular meetings. Still, we arranged to correspond by mail. The same month, I received a call from Carla Ventura, a beginner short story writer, wanting information. I explained about the one member in Corpus, telling Carla that I wished to wait for one more interested person before establishing a first meeting. She agreed. Finally, in October, I heard from a third caller: Carmen Iglehart, a beginner poet. We were set to go!


Eager to get the group in action, I set our initial meeting for the fourteenth of November. In the meantime, Carla met another interested writer at an AWL short story course. Gloria Amescua was eager to join when Carla invited her to the first session. Thus, with four passionate, aspiring writers, all virtual strangers on that initial evening, the formation of the Austin Hispanic Writers was set in motion. Along the way, one or two new members joined, while due to busy lives and hectic schedules, a couple of others phased out. We were able to maintain a core of five regulars when Joelle Cruz joined us in May of 1997. We had no formal name for our group in those early months; in time we came to affectionately regard one another as “comadres” or “hermanas.”


The special bond we five developed borders on that of supportive siblings. Each person brings with her her unique personality, background, and experiences varied in the blending of two languages and two cultures. This quality helps promote the cultivation of our artistic voices and writing styles in genres of choice. There is comfort in belonging to a group that offers an atmosphere where one is always greeted with friendship, respect, and a sense of humor.


(The essay was published in the August 2000 issue of Austin Writer)
Anjela Villarreal Ratliff
Austin, Texas 78729