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Top 10 Reasons a Latina Won’t Head Homeland Security
Chancletas as a weapon of mass destruction
By Al Carlos Hernandez, Contributing Editor
Published on LatinoLA: November 24, 2008
10. Only gringos in BMWs, Volvos and Saabs would be racially profiled.
9. They may misinterpret the responsibility and try to protect Mexico.
8. Qué borders, qué nada. We were here first, Cara de Caballos.
7. She could explain to ICE agents what the undocumented hermanos are calling them, causing a huge drop in morael, forcing agents to question their parentage.
6. Mayor Villaraigosa would be envidioso.
5. May crack down hard on Canadians, arresting everyone in plaid shirts at hockey games.
4. Agents may only question attractive people with good jobs, then, collect phone numbers for family members who need novios.
3. With a name like Barack Hussein Obama, a Latina would not let him on a plane.
2. With Latinas keeping everyone under surveillance, we couldn’t get away with nothing.
1. Chancletas would be categorized as a deadly weapon.
http://www.latinola.com/story.php?story=6989
Top 10 Latino Reactions to the Election of Barack Obama
Astute observations by our resident loco
By Al Carlos Hernandez – Contributing Editor
Published on LatinoLA: November 5, 2008
10. ¿Sabes qué? I didn’t even know your Mama was running for office. Homes, you gonna throw a kegger?
9. Ironic: Most highly educated community organizers I know get laid off, not promoted.
8. If he is half black and half white from Hawaii, then socio-genetically he is Puerto Rican.
7. The good news for McCain is that his wife is a beer heiress.
6. Oh man, you need to stop driving Chuy’s Impala. He’s going to be back from the war any day now.
5. Never believed that in my lifetime we would have a President who got lined up and sported a fade.
4. ¡Como eres! There I go and vote for him and he can’t even call to thank me. Como te cambiaste, sangrón.
3. Dude, you are stupid. The Richie Valens oldies song is “Oh Donna”, not “O Bama.”
2. Never knew that this voting thing worked. Thought it was fixed like wrestling. Glad Bush knows how it feels to lose his jale and be unemployable.
1. I guess the Revolution was not televised after all. It was, blogged, emailed and text messaged.
http://www.latinola.com/story.php?story=6931